Ryan Levander

“Modern Romance” by Aziz Ansari

Published on: April 7, 2016
Read Time: 2 minutes

We live in the age of options. Thanks, technology. But, is it too much of a good thing? If we have all these seemingly endless options, why are divorce rates higher than ever (worldwide)? Why are over 50% of households single in metro US cities? Isn’t this contradictory?

Well, options definitely have made us picky. Or, pickier. And for some, pickiest. We’re not just after companionship, we’re after a soulmate. Someone who hits all the qualities we’ve ever wanted in another person. Our patience has decreased. If we don’t see this on this first or if there is a second date, we move onto the next. “I’m sure there is someone who will have better jokes than he does,” Disclaimer: Good luck on your insurmountable quest, ladies.

Reading this book was pretty great timing for me. Finding myself in this exact scenario…Late 20s, single, living in a major metro city, dating. I’ve been using online dating for 3 months now. At first I thought it was great, and I still do. But it can definitely be overwhelming.

It was pretty incredible to hear stories of older generations, and how they choose their spouses. For many, it was people in their apartment complex. They met, expressed interest, met each other’s parents early on, and realized that neither one was a serial killer, so they got married. That was it. Okay, there might be some exaggeration for effect, but you get the concept. Now-a-days, it can take people longer to figure out where they want to eat on vacation than previous generations spent finding their partners.

I personally think online dating is good. But, I think it should be a resource, and not the only method you use to find another person. Go and live the life that makes you happy. Be the awesome person you are and you will find awesome people along the way.

In Modern Romance, Aziz, along with Sociologists, conducted studies to better understand if dating websites and apps like Match.com and Tinder were actually working. They found that some people became overwhelmed with the effort and time all the communication took with the endless options. And others, who applied themselves in a wide variety of other activities, seemed to have better experiences and lead to less stress in the process, too.

I would highly recommend Modern Romance to anyone. But especially Millenials, Gen X & Y-ers who are single. It’s the age we are living in and we need to learn to use this as a tool and advantage, not as a distraction or “perfect person finder”.

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